I don’t normally condone forwards but if it is funny or pertains to my life in general - I let it slide.  So this one hit my inbox yesterday morning and since I haven’t been around to post lately, I had to share with you guys & gals.

So if your a BBQ fan, or a woman… or a man… yup that covers everyone - then you should enjoy this one.

BBQ  RULES
We are entering the BBQ season. Therefore it is important to refresh your memory on the etiquette of this sublime outdoor cooking activity, as it’s the only type of cooking a ‘real’ man will do, probably because there is an element of danger involved.

When a man volunteers to do the BBQ the following chain of events are put into motion:

Routine…
(1) The woman buys the food.
(2) The woman makes the salad, prepares the vegetables, and makes dessert.
(3) The woman prepares the meat for cooking, places it on a tray along with the necessary cooking utensils and sauces, and takes it to the man who is lounging beside the grill — beer in hand.

Here comes the important part:
(4) THE MAN PLACES THE MEAT ON THE GRILL.

More routine…
(5) The woman goes inside to organize the plates and cutlery.
(6) The woman comes out to tell the man that the meat is burning. He thanks her and asks if she will bring another beer while he deals with the situation.   

Important again:
(7) THE MAN TAKES THE MEAT OFF THE GRILL AND HANDS IT TO THE WOMAN.

More routine…
(8) The woman prepares the plates, salad, bread, utensils, napkins, sauces, and brings them to the table.
(9) After eating, the woman clears the table and does the dishes.

And most important of all:
(10) Everyone PRAISES the MAN and THANKS HIM for his cooking efforts.
(11) The man asks the woman how she enjoyed ‘her night off,’ And, upon seeing her annoyed reaction, concludes that there’s just no pleasing some women….

Tags: Barbeque, Cooking, Funny by James
3 Comments »

All to often we are asked how we figure the amount of food to feed people at our barbeques.  This is a tough question, simply because appetites vary and so do portion sizes.  Of course when you add in multiple items (chicken, ribs, brisket) it just complicates the equation even more.  So my hope is that I can help figure this out with some simple math.  We hope to be adding a nice “Rib Calculator” soon to help people out with some of these problems, but until then… let me give you the math.

How Many People Does a Rack of Ribs Feed?

Well this depends on a few things.  First, are ribs the only thing you are going to be BBQing?  Secondly, how many people are going to be attending your BBQ?  Once you have those two things answered, we can move on.

Lets say you are only BBQing ribs on this occasion, then you need to figure about 3-4 ribs per person.  This is about to get confusing, so it will be best just to use an example.

So if you had 10 people showing up, then this is your math problem. 

10 (people) x 4 (ribs per person) = 40 (total ribs)

Now that you have the total amount of ribs, you can take that number and divide it by the estimated ribs per rack and round up.

40 (total ribs) / 12 (estimated ribs per rack) = Ceiling(3.3) or 4 (total racks of ribs)

I know this is nerdy as hell, but you get the idea.  Of course if you want, you could always go to the store with the total ribs number (40 in this case) and hand picked your ribs based on the final number adding up to your total ribs number… more power to ya.  But remember, this is an estimate - so if your friend brings his friend and his friend brings his girlfriend and his girlfriend is a cookie monster type chick… you are going to be under-supplied.  So I feel it is best to over supply a bit and who can gripe about leftover BBQ right?  Not this kid.

Now of course if you are feeding a crapload of dudes and you think your estimated ribs per person might be a bit higher… then adjust the equation accordingly and you should be fine.  If you are like me and are going to be making several items… then you need to adjust for that as well.

How Do I Determine How Much Meat To Cook At My BBQ?

So your not just doing ribs, you are going to do a brisket and some chicken to tag along with the ribs.  Or maybe you are doing some sausage and some chicken legs, you know… just a bbq buffet of sorts.  This can throw anyone off their rocker when it comes to math if you don’t know what you’re doing.  So let’s try to hash it out the best we can.

Ribs are a staple at our BBQs, so we want to make sure to do the math on that first.  I like to bring it down to 2 ribs per person in this case, so use the equation above and modify it accordingly.  This should get that figured out quickly.  Then depending on your other items you can figure it up.

Let’s just say you are doing a brisket to accompany your ribs, so how do you figure that?  Usually if I am doing both a brisket and ribs, then I will buy a smaller brisket - something in the 6-12 lbs range.  Then you can slice it when it is all said and done and you have a nice compliment to go along with your rib selection.  Now if you are doing a large number of folks, then grab a bigger brisket, or possibly two small ones.  I like to figure about 1/4 to 1/2 pound of brisket per person just to be safe.  If, of course, you are feeding ribs as well.

Now let’s throw one more thing into the equation.  Let’s say you have some chicken fans showing up, so you are going to put a few birds on the grill.  You can choose a few options… beer can chicken is a great option, but also you can go with chicken legs.  My suggestion for smaller groups would be a beer can chicken, if you are having several people over, then I would do chicken legs.  The cool thing about chicken legs, you can just judge 1 per person for the most part.  So if you are having 12 people, grab a 12 pack of chicken legs.  Simple.

If you are going to do beer can chicken, I would judge it as about one small chicken will feed 4-6 people (if you are serving other meats as well).  So use that to best gauge your chicken supply.

What about those jalapeno popper things you always talk about?

These are tricky, since you probably will be eating a few as you go and people will flock to grab some the minute they see you have them on the grill.  The cool thing though it is easy to figure how many a batch of jalapenos will make.  If you make them like I do, you can get two out of each jalapeno - so 15 jalapenos will make… you guessed it >> 30 armadillo eggs.  That is what they are called by the way, armadillo eggs.  If you do not know how to make them, then look at our How to make armadillo eggs article.  I figure about 3 per person, then I round up 10 more.  Reason being is because these get CONSUMED quicker than anything and you will look down and all of a sudden you have eaten 4 and the meal isn’t even started yet.  haha  They are THAT good.  So if you have 15 people coming… here is your math problem of the day.

15 (people) x 3 (armadillo eggs per person) = 45 (armadillo eggs total)

Then…

45 (armadillo eggs total) + 10 (inflation) = 55 (total armadillo eggs FOR REAL)

Take that…

55 (total) / 2 = Ceiling (27.5) = 28 (total jalapenos needed)

You can then pick up a 50 pack of pre-made bacon, and a bag of stick cheese or two.  You are good to go!

Planning food for BBQs isn’t easy, but hopefully with a bit of math and know how you can do it on your own.  The good thing is that if you mess up by over supplying your party… no biggie, you can send some home with people or you can eat it the next day!  Leftover BBQ is AWESOME, trust me.

One last thing… and you used to ask your teacher… when will I EVER USE THIS MATH STUFF IN REAL LIFE!  With BBQ of course.

Tags: Barbeque, Cooking, Perfect BBQ Tips by James
6 Comments »

A clean grill is a happy grill.  Or something like that.  The problem is, and I am sure some of you have experienced it…

When you clean your grill the normal way, you are left with meat and your other BBQ items sticking to your grill and that my friends… is not Good Eats.  I totally stole that.  Don’t tell.

So here is the answer to that problem.

Normally what we do is NOT clean our grill all that often in the sense of scrubbing with a wire brush and all that jazz.  I like to have a seasoned grill that is easy to cook on.  So, about every 4-6 uses of the grill I will take a brush and clean it as much as possible.  I don’t go overboard with it… just clean the top of the actual grate and enough to get it “happy” again.

I’m sure you are thinking…

Why is this dude telling me this, who doesn’t know how to clean a grill?

True.  That part is a given.  If you can brush your teeth… you can clean a grill.  At least that way you can.

Now here comes the tips and tricks that get you to the top of the top of the grilling game.  If there is such a thing.

There is a trick to keeping things from sticking to your grill… a simple trick that will save you time scraping meat off your grill.  What you do after you clean your grill thoroughly with a brush you then need to re-apply oil/grease to it.  Now what I do is take a bit of cooking oil and apply it to a napkin/paper towel/rag of sort and then apply that oil onto your grill evenly.  It shouldn’t be soaked by any means… just make sure you wipe the entire grate portion until all has been covered.  This will keep the majority of things from sticking to the grill the first time you BBQ on it again.

Pretty cool huh?  Yeah I know.  Moving on.  Now what do you do in between the big cleaning sessions?  You know, the 4-6 weeks between deep cleanings.  I learned this one from a friend of mine and so I must give him credit for this one.  Thanks Benny.

Each time you BBQ in between deep cleanings you can clean your grill with a Yellow Onion.  Yup… clean it with food.  ;)  Weird huh?  What you do is get a nice fire going, so your grill is hot and getting cooled down some for your BBQ and you take one Yellow Onion and cut it in half.  After doing so, take one half of it and run, don’t walk… to your grill.  With a gloved hand, be sure it is gloved, you take the onion half and use it like a sponge all over your grill.  It will sizzle and hiss at you, and smell AWESOME.  Use this to clean your grill with throughout and it will take off some stuff (leaving your onion blackish on the bottom).  It will also knock off the majority of the nonsense into the fire that is of the bigger variety.

After that… your grill is ready to clean.  If you want to do this again with the other half… feel free.  Do it as much as you want.  If you don’t use the other half, take it and wrap it in foil and add just a tad bit of butter and leave it on the grill.  You will have a great topper for your meat products when the meal finally arrives!

Get to cleaning, only 4-5 more days until the biggest BBQ day of the year!

Tags: Barbeque, Cooking by James
2 Comments »

I can’t believe it is Memorial Day weekend already, which always seems to kick off the Summer in our book.  Even though we probably have BBQ’d 10 times already this year, most people will be lighting their grills for the first time this coming weekend.  If you are one of those folks, then you will want to stay tuned for Double Danger’s BBQ Week - where we try to give as many tips for your backyard BBQ as possible.

So let us get into our first tip already…

It is important when BBQing to be sure and have some kind of “snack” to sample throughout the process.  If you are smoking ribs, brisket, pork loin or whatever… or you are just grilling steaks and other cuts - you have to have something to keep your guests and well… yourself from eating all the profits of your labor.

We have found that cooking some of our favorite sausage in tandem with whatever you are smoking or grilling.  The sausage we choose 9 times out of 10 is a Texas made sausage with German twist.  If you have never tried Opa’s sausage, you do not know what you are missing.  Opa’s are make in Fredericksburg, Texas - near the Austin area if you are not familiar. 

I guess we started eating Opa’s because of my Brother (God rest his soul), he always had them handy when we were BBQ’n and so we first tried them because of him.  Then when I started BBQ’n on my own, it made total sense to do the same.  Now it is a tradition to grab a few packages when we are at the store and our friends and family tend to do the same.

One of the cool things about Opa’s sausage is the fact that they have a website that you can order smoked meats online.  Now of course you can buy just about any of their meats, however we stick to the sausages.  There are several kinds, with our favorite being the Jalapeno/Cheese sausage (black label) and then of course you can’t go wrong with the standard beef, country blend and even the bratwurst is awesome if you are a fan of the white sausage.

Now you can use any sausage you would like.  I know lots of you have thrown on the German sausage ring before and then chopped it up and drowned it in BBQ sauce and said to your friends…

“Look guys/gals… I know how to BBQ!”

And really… no really… we are proud of you for that.  People ate it and told you how great it was, and when everyone went home you high-fived your spouse and had long conversations about how great the BBQ was and how the sausage dish turned out to be a big hit.  ;)  Ok - maybe you didn’t go that far, but the truth is… you did that poor “sausage dish” no justice.  Sausage is made in a fashion that it is PACKED with flavor.  No additives needed!

The best way to eat sausage is to throw it on the grill and let it get nice and cooked… then pull it off and slice it up (after waiting a few minutes, or you will be splattered with grease).  That is all there is too it.  I like to make sure that the sausage cooks long enough to get a nice char… well… I dunno if that is the word.  I don’t burn it by any means, but I do like to get a bit of a crisp on the outer casing.  Then when you slice into it, you will have a few different textures with the inside being soft and tender.  **mouth is watering as I type this**

We like to grab a few different varieties of sausage, like the Jalapeno/Cheese - Beef - Bratwurst… then pull them off and slice them up.  If you grab some toothpicks you can put one in each slice and BANG… you have snacks for your guests instantly.  We mix the different kinds up and then people can get a taste of all of it.  YUM!

Sausage is a great way to keep your guests from starving at your next BBQ.  Opa’s is a great sausage made in Texas and can be bought online, so there is no reason you can’t try it at your next barbeque.  We will be bringing you more and more tips for your backyard barbeques this week… getting you ready for a BIG Memorial Day Weekend Barbeque! 

Tags: Barbeque, Cooking, Pictures by James
No Comments »

When you barbeque, whether it be ribs, chicken, brisket or whatever… you have to have sides to go along with it.  I say sides, however it is more like appetizers and things to fill the time while your barbeque is getting ready to be devoured by the masses.  I have my favorites.  This post in particular is dealing with the southern favorite - the armadillo egg. 

I am not sure if in every area of the country they are called armadillo eggs, in fact I know even here some people call armadillo eggs - jalapeno poppers.  This is not true however, since jalapeno poppers are usually batter-dipped jalapenos that have been stuffed with cheese and then deep fried to a golden crisp.  I do hear that term thrown around a lot though and whether it is out of mis-information or the fact that in some places that is indeed a “jalapeno popper”… you have to respect it and move along. 

The armadillo egg seems horrible if you are a context clues type of person like me.  You are thinking… well shit, I don’t want to eat an armadillo’s eggs… ewww!  Settle down, don’t worry about it, you aren’t helping armadillos get rid of illegitimate babies or anything.  There is no armadillo at all in these little guys.  No armadillos were injured to bring you this post, just jalapenos, a few pigs and cheese from a cow… that should have went to a baby… that is likely dead because of your addiction to barbeque.  But other than that, you should be able to sleep well tonight. ;) 

[Read more →]

Tags: Cooking, Perfect BBQ Tips by James
8 Comments »