Like it or not, it looks like the holidays are upon us.  In fact, the first holiday just went whizzing past.

Remember that turkey smell a while back… that was Thanksgiving.

Coming back to you?  Oh well, you probably didn’t miss much anyhow.  Some of your family slept, some watched football and the ones that were left looked at circulars out of the newspaper (you know you did… or were you asleep?) in preparation for Black Friday. 

Black Friday… the day where people die for the love of shopping.  Not cool.

My goal is to give you some advice to keep you alive through the bigger of the two holidays… Christmas.  Sorry to my Jewish readers and any other holidays I don’t cover… I am not familiar - so feel free to do your own survival guide if you are offended.  Because I don’t really have the time or the knowledge to pull it off.

Turn your head and cough.

Ok - maybe that wasn’t the best header.  But the point is that you need to be on your toes during this season and stay away from that flu bug, sneezing kid or “stomach bug” friend you have calling you.  The worst start to the holidays is catching a cold.  Dealing with the holidays can be hard enough, but to do it while you are under the weather… dumb.

I know you can’t prevent it all, you are going to get that sniffly-nose at some point or that nagging cough… but curving it before it becomes a problem is the key.  The minute you get that twinge in your throat, or that burning feeling in your nose (you know the one, HOW CAN A NOSE BE SO CLEAN IT HURTS?!?) - you have to take action.

Some folks live by Airborne, some just take a HUGE dose of Vitamin C… each have their assigned haterz (yes, I say haterz - wh-wha-what?!) that will argue with you for hours on end.  I won’t argue.  If it works for you, get after it.  I do the Vitamin C thing, so - to each their own.  Like I said… don’t fight with me about it.  If you have a better option, throw it out there.  My Grandpa used to just liquor us up (hot tottie style) and wrap us in blankets and make us sweat it out.  Wait… that was my wife last night - just getting me drunk.  Never mind, everything is a bit blurry.

If you have a good insurance plan - head to the doc… if you have a bad one… ask a friend for some drugs.  Not those kinds of drugs, or those kinds of friends.  Wait a second… what kind of drugs do they have?  Call me.  Let’s hang out.  Let’s be friends.  Let’s be friends with your friends. 

I got off track.  Your friends ARE cool though.  What I was trying to say was that you should ask around to see if anyone has any left over meds.  I know people say you shouldn’t take other people’s meds… but I call those people - RICH.  Leave the poor to do whatever we have to do to remain healthy.

Another great way to stay healthy is to avoid sickness all together.  You could lock yourself in a closet until Jan. or Feb.  That works wonders… AND you will be one of the few that actually LOSE weight during the holidays.  A true win-win situation.  Seriously, you know where the flu hangs out.  Where kids hang out.  Schools, businesses, malls and myspace.  So try your best to avoid these like the plague… that was a sickness joke thingy.  And no matter what your Mom told you… you can’t get sick from wet hair.  You just get a cold head.  Which, I guess isn’t all that good either - but it isn’t the flu.  Do some research MOMs… geeze.

If at all possible, shop online.

Ever heard of anyone dying online from a stampede of shoppers?  Nope.  WHY risk your life for a Elmo and 2 more inches of TV for your bedroom?  Get it online.  Quit being a sucker.  People have been slowly coming around to internet shopping (for Christmas gifts) over the past few years - enough to now deem the day after the Black Friday weekend… CYBER MONDAY!  I don’t think it has the exclamation point after it in most cases, but I added for a dramatic effect.  I roll like that.  Sometimes.  But really though - the internet isn’t going to steal your credit card and use and abuse it on porno/online casinos/drugs.  And even if it did, what would make it any different than what you normally do with your credit card?  I mean how would you even tell it wasn’t legit charges?

Shopping online is something I have done for years.  There is just something about beating the rush, using the tools the internet gives you (Froogle, Nextag, Ebay) and coming out looking like a genius that you can’t put a freakin’ price on.  How often do you get a chance to shop in your underwear?  Not often enough if you ask me.  Here is your chance!

Underwear shopping rules.

Although shopping in your undies is the coolest part, the second coolest part is the discount codes you can find online.  Pretty much every online store has a spot to put in discount codes/coupon codes and so you have to take advantage of that.  You are thinking… “I don’t have any codes though - so how would I use it?”  Don’t be dumb.  THE INTERNET HAS THEM STUPID!  Just go searching.  Want one for Lowe’s?  Go search Google for “Lowe’s discount codes”.  You need one for Amazon?  You know what to do.  It might not be but 10%, but seriously… come the holiday season, every penny counts.

Of course you can shop online and have them ship it, but I will tell you another tip when you are shopping online.  IN STORE PICKUP.  If you really want to piss off the world… and when I say “world” I mean “people that shop in REAL stores in the REAL world instead of online” then you should order something online and then go pick it up in the store.  It is so much fun to walk up to the customer service desk and walk out with your items instead of having the “shop”.  Or at least it is for me.  Then I like to go walk besides people shopping for the same item and say - yeah I just picked that up.  See?!  Then kick them in their shins and run off.

That is what the holidays is all about right?

Don’t fight with your family, stay jolly-ish.

You might hate the way your brother-in-law picks on you or how your Mom just can’t stay away from the wine cabinet long enough to open presents… but the holidays are not the time to confront them.  People travel miles upon miles to be with their families and then spend it pissed off at each other.  Not cool at all.  You have to respect people during the holidays, you just have to… so deal with it.  After the new year, you can call them and tell them how stupid they are…  but not over the holidays - let it slide.

If you have to fight, try to do it drunk.  At least that way you will have an excuse and maybe worst parts will be forgotten out of drunken stupor alone. 

Who am I kidding - pretty much everything is done drunk during the holidays… so I would say fighting has about a 90% chance to be done while drunk.  It is just simple math.

Give something else besides Pixos or Converse.

Sometimes we forget that Christmas is about giving.  Unless it is what someone else is giving to us.  Or that laundry list of presents you have to buy for the kids in the family, the boss or mother-in-law.  But giving can be so much more than that.  I always try to help out charities and such if I can or throw money in the bucket for the bell-ringers come the holidays.  Personally the local charities mean more to us (Shala & I), simply because it can go to our community and really make a difference that we can see over time.

There is a feeling you get when giving to people that NEED things more than we do - that you can’t top.  It truly is the Christmas spirit in my mind.  The food is good, the family is great - but helping out your fellow man is what it is all about.

And Jesus.  Don’t forget that dude.  ;)  HA HA HA - HO! HO! HO!

***Updated (from Heather)

Get silly with silly string.

Our family does silly string on Christmas morning - in the living room, so you can’t run very far when being attacked by 6 different colors of sprayed string flying through the air, thus ensuring a big colorful mess & much laughter & getting frustrations out. It works well for us. (Come to think of it, randomly spraying people with silly string would be a grand idea…)

What are a few tips you have about surviving the holidays?  Share them with us, and we will do our best to include them.  Shoot us an email or leave it in the comments area and we will add it accordingly.  If you enjoyed this post - subscribe to Double Danger.  Also - be sure to follow Double Danger on Twitter - TWEET!

Tags: Funny, Make A Difference, Personal, Self Help by James
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This question creeps up in my brain from time to time.  Honestly, it is usually during the trying times that it creeps up most.  This being one of those times I suppose.

A little backstory.

10 years ago, I had no aspirations to do anything involving computers.  NONE.  At. All.

I tell this story all the time to clients and potential employers to show how easily I picked up the talents I have now…

I didn’t use a computer until I was 19.  I mean I played on them when I was little and I typed up a few things in school - but for the most part I didn’t “use” one, unless forced - until I was 19 or so.  I remember buying it and thinking you just got on it and it already had the “internet”.  I pulled it out of the box and hooked it all up (using the instructions of course) and sat there thinking…

“Wow… the internet.”

What an idiot I was back then.

Once I got the internet hooked up (dial-up), I didn’t really know where to go or what to do.  I was so amazed, but didn’t know really what I was amazed by.

After getting my first computer, I guess it was about 2 more years before I even began using it for anything.  I remember buying a program to make music and playing around with some friends on it.  I thought I was something else. 

Of course I chatted, emailed… downloaded music and everything else people did on the internet.

It wasn’t until I went to school for 6 months or so for networking that I realized I could probably make money off my computer skills.  Part of the program had me doing Word/Excel/Access courses and I aced those tests with ease.  Before long I noticed that I wasn’t learning as much as I thought I should be from the school and so I left.

A dropout.

Sue me.

I got a job right before leaving the school though at a .com in our sister city.  This propelled me into the career I have today.  The one I wonder if it is right for me sometimes.

Development always came easy to me.  Design, marketing… hell anything to do with online business just seemed to click in my brain and with little to no effort I could come up with elaborate creations that either I could put in place myself, or with some help from some fellow nerds.  So I never question that part of it. 

I am an innovator.  A leader (by birth).

I just wonder if I am leading and innovating in the wrong industry sometimes.

What keeps me going when I have doubts?

I would lie if I said it didn’t have something to do with money.  Everyone has dollar signs tattooed on their right wrist.  But I also would lie if I said it was the only thing that motivates me.  I have worked in web development for pocket change.  I have done work of my own (like this site here) for no check (besides Adsense).  I love seeing things come together.  I get that giddy feeling when I finish a website or project and see it working and people using it out in the field.  It is hard to explain.  Imagine if you built houses and when you got done with a house someone moved in that had never owned a house before and you got to watch them (not like a stalker) using the doors, opening the windows - kids playing on the floor… all the things you built and put into place.  That feeling.

I saw people in our line of work (Medical) struggling to do day-to-day tasks, and with our software in place - it is a breeze.  I think of all the paper we are saving, trees that are spared because of our paperless system.  I hear customers telling me how they did all their work and went home at the end of the day and played with their kids.  They tell me how much that means to them and how before the system was in place, they spent 2-3 hours at the end of each day working on paperwork - the same hours they now get to watch a movie with the family or getting that much needed rest.

Not to mention the fact that this system allows for the documentation of home health therapy visits for older folks that might have broke a hip, or need speech therapy.  I know that our software doesn’t do the therapy or help the old people in the same way the therapist does… but I can’t help but think that I aid in helping someone’s grandpa get back to their old self, or it gets someone’s grandma back in the kitchen cooking that pie they love so much.

Yeah, I guess that keeps me going sometimes. 

What makes you want to scream and pull out the hair you don’t have?

I’m bald… so what.  Doesn’t mean I don’t hit a wall sometimes and want to pull my tiny lil baby hairs out.  A lot of you that are in the same industry as I am in (IT), realize that everyday could be a disaster at anytime.  Whether it be an update that Microsoft put out to secure a vulnerability or someone had an accident that knocked out power to your main server… shit happens in our industry.  I have to say that 80% of the time it has nothing to do with anything I did, it just starts at random.

So they teach us to have backup plans and backup plans to those backup plans and exit strategies, contingency plans and anything else you can think of to get the eff out of a bad situation.  This is great, but the problem is that sometimes you can’t produce or even phathom the things that go wrong and you end up with your pants down.  At church.  On stage.  Singing Amazing Grace.  For the mayor.  And his family.  And yours.

This is when I contemplate whether people at Whataburger or Wal-Mart ever have the same problems.  I know I should be happy to be in an exciting job that sends me across the U.S. to visit with folks and have drinks and live up each experience in each city.  I should be happy to be the boss, leave if I need to - not clock in… you know the “perks”. 

But those perks come at a price.  Those folks at Wal-Mart don’t have boxes of cereal calling them at home going…

“HEY - you put me in the wrong shelf and someone just bought me at a discounted price!  What The EFF!”

Or an angry customer doesn’t call the Best Buy employee that sold them the wrong connection for their HD TV, and now their kids can’t watch Cars for the 50-millionth time this week.

Nope, I doubt it happens.

And let me get something else off my chest here.  I do my job, I do it with as much customer service as humanly possible.  Last month, 2 days before we were flying to Miami to go on vacation, we had a problem with a new customer we set up in New Orleans.  Instead of saying to hell with it, I’m going on vacation - I manned up and flew to New Orleans the next morning and then flew back the same day after getting them up and going.  That is how I do business.

I say that to say this…  I can’t seem to get a decent amount of customer service these days if I wave a 50$ bill over my head and say…

“THIS GOES TO THE PERSON THAT WANTS TO DO BUSINESS, THE RIGHT WAY!”

We order pizza and the guy doesn’t bring cheese & peppers after we asked specifically for that several times.  We go to the grocery store and sit at the self check out for 10 minutes because the person “monitoring” it isn’t paying enough attention to notice we have an invalid weight for an item, and need assistance.  The list goes on and on…

I know each job has its own set of rules and obstacles, but seriously… I program in a foreign language, several of them.  I make things that are brodcast across the globe if need be.  I make that gadget you hold in your hand and it does all the cool things you want it to.  I book your reservations online using code.  I get those documents from your computer to a big computer and allow for someone else to get them and everyone get paid in the process.  I make sure the accounting is handled.  I generate those reports you need.  I MAKE MAGIC.

And you can’t get the pickles on my effin’ burger.  PICKLES!

Why I think I could quit and still be happy or stay and be happy as well.

I have done a lot of jobs in my short life.  I love to build things.  I love working with my hands.  I don’t mind sweating and getting dirty if need be.  The same design concepts that are used in my line of work is also easily converted into many other fields.  I could build houses, work on cars, manage businesses, market products or just brainstorm in a think tank.  I could do any of these things and still be happy at the end of the day.

My Grandpa showed me a lot of things in life and I could go on and on about them, but one of the most important things I learned from him is that you can do just about anything and make ends meet and be happy.  My Grandpa had his own business fixing lawn mowers.  He also worked as a night watchman for the school system in a small town for 20+ years.  He retired through the school.  He eventually closed his shop.  But by then, he over 10 or so rent houses that he worked on and kept up - so he was more than busy.

It showed me that if a man doing something as simple as night-watching, and something he actually loved (working with his hands on lawn mowers & houses) could make an honest living and be happy while doing so… there is hope.  Hope for a programmer.  Hope for me. 

Hope that my doubts aren’t in vain, hopes my reasons for continuing on aren’t in vain either.

***Update***

So… do I have a Home Depot story to tell pointing out both the good and bad sides of customer service.  Let me get it together for an actual post - but man… perfect timing.

Tags: Personal, Self Help by James
7 Comments »

Dear Mom,

Let me lead off by saying I’m sorry.  I know it doesn’t amount to much coming from a dog - but it is true. 

I do not know all the details, but Dad filled me in on what the end result was… and needless to say, it wasn’t good.  I really had no clue what had happened, I remember you hitting the floor - but I just thought you wanted to play with my toy lamb.  I love that lamb.  I really do.

When I saw you on the ground next to it, I couldn’t help but to think that we had something in common (a love for a stuffed lamb), and it made my heart smile.  Little did I know that you were not getting down to play with my lamb at all, actually you were hurt.  Hurt, by something I did.

That… didn’t make my heart smile.

I get excited easily.  Guess it is the puppy in me, still holding on… not wanting to be overtaken to my grown-up side.  Yes, I do have a grown-up side… you have said it before yourself.  Actually, it can be easily confused with my sleepy side, because honestly they are the same.  When I get sleepy… I calm down.  Calm = grown up.  Or at least to most folks, it appears that way.

Yesterday when you let me inside, I was so excited to get to come in.  Not to mention, Grandma & Grandpa were there and you know I love them so much.  I saw them for just a second and then I was wisked inside - which I thought would mean that Grandma & Grandpa would be in there to pet me.  After a quick look around, I noticed this was not the case.  So I headed for the door to find them. 

That is where we met.  As you probably remember, I tried to stop - I hit the brakes hard.  That tile floor doesn’t do much for my brakes, specially with my nails being a little long.  So we collided.  It definitely wasn’t intentional.  Please believe that.  When Dad told me everything, I could barely remember what happened - since I didn’t even know you were hurt. 

Mikey tried to tell me something was wrong… but I thought he was crazy (and I still think he is a lil).  When Dad pulled me aside last night though, it became clear that I had really done a number on your knee.  I figured something was wrong, because no one fed me lunch and I didn’t see you guys until late… I just figured that y’all had been drinking.  That is usually the case. 

I guess what I am trying to say is I let the puppy in me get out of hand and I’m sorry.  I mean it.  If there is anything I can do for you… like chase squirrels, eat random objects or sleep on the bed next to you… I’m here for you.  Seriously. 

Just ask.

Love - Izzy (the dog)

P.S. - My memory of the event is a lil cloudy and as I think about it more and more… I really think it could have been Mikey.  Pretty sure I saw him run off all Tonya Harding style.  Pretty sure of it.  Oh and I attached a picture to remind you how cute I am and that I would love a chance to sit next to you.

Tags: Double Danger Dogs Diary, Funny, Health, Personal, Pictures by James
6 Comments »

I dunno, I couldn’t think of anything better.  Deal with it.

So we made it.  Life is getting back to normal.  Well, if normal means your house smells like carboard and you can’t find shit, because it is boxed up somewhere in the garage/backyard/kitchen/bathroom or where ever the hell else it shouldn’t be.  Yeah, normal like that.

We are so beat up and tired from the past two weeks, there is just nothing in DIY that accounts for working 8 hours a day, then coming home and working 6-8 more hours (at least).  Maybe it is in the fine print somewhere.  Maybe not.  Then factor in that we were on a deadline in which if we didn’t meet… we would be on the streets in the cold (and yes, it finally is cold in Texas).  Annnnnnnnnd… we had to move all of our crap as well, after all the rennovations were done (by us).

The smart part of me spent most of the past two weeks saying…

“Dude”

“Why did you do this again?  Are you high?  People can be hired for things like this.  You don’t have to always push the limits of your abilities and everyone else’s.”

When I say the smart part, I mean my wife.  I am suprised she made it through this whole she-bang.

She probably was my biggest motivation to be honest.  The first day we went over that the people had their stuff out, we really got a chance to see it all in it’s glory.  This made it more clear as to how much work really needed to be done.

Shala has never really been a part of a project quite this big and so she was not very excited.  The look on her face and the words coming from her mouth were sobering.  At that point I decided that it didn’t matter what it took…

I had to get this done.

The good thing is we had help from both sets of parents, some siblings and friends.  So it didn’t have to totally rely on me and her… but I can say that there were some nights when everyone was gone and I was working on something all by my lonesome and the only thing keeping me going was that look on her face that first day.  So my thought process was…

I had to get this done.

For her.  For us.  For mankind.  Ok - maybe that last one was a stretch… I’ve been watching too many Obama videos I think.  But you get the point.

Shala had her doubts, I can admit that I had a few myself after a few days and what seemed like little progress… but stick-to-it-tive-ness reigns supreme and as things started coming together and the paint went up and the new flooring & baseboards went down… each new fixture… ceiling fan… it was becoming clear that…

We were getting this done.

It wasn’t very easy.  Well - a few things maybe, but overall - it was hard work.  Sometimes we didn’t want to do it.  Sometimes we called it quits early.  Somedays we were there late.  My hands hurts, my back ached and regardless of what was going on my mind continued to race about what needed to be done.  Even to the point where one morning at 4AM as I lay in bed thinking of all the stuff that had to be done…  I decided to just get up and get some stuff done before heading to work. 

All the sleep lost, bruises… aches & pains don’t mean a thing now.  Because.

We got it done.

Tags: Design, Personal by James
7 Comments »

But not all days have funny stories.

In fact, the last couple of weeks and the next couple to come were/are filled more with sore elbows, creaky fingers and late nights.  There are some funny things sprinkled in to keep the comedy in the back of your mind, but for the most part it is straight up hard labor.

We are into our second week of the remodel/revamp/renovation and we are definitely feeling it.  We really have got a lot done, thanks to the team we had over the weekend.  Seriously, these guys & gals were working their butts off - and all we could do is feed them and keep them as happy as possible… they wouldn’t except our wages. 

That is what family does I suppose, but really - they went above and beyond.

We had Shala & Myself all of last week.  Also my Mom made it over a few times last week after work and helped. I was able to get Friday & Monday off of work so I had full days that day to be able to work.  Shala’s Dad was able to spend the majority of the day Friday at the house also, not to mention My Stepdad who was able to shake loose from work on Friday around lunch.  Shala’s Mom showed up not long after that and My Mom was back.  Once Shala got off, we had a pretty full crew.

Saturday Shala’s Brother & his wife joined in bright and early, along with everyone else mentioned above and Sunday was the same. 

Unreal.

But just to give you an idea of what got accomplished since Tuesday of last week…  here is a quick list (and I’m sure I will leave out a lot):

Removed all baseboards throughout the house.

Mudded the Den that had panelling along with sanding it to make it appear like it had normal walls.

Textured all the ceilings throughout the house to cover up old horrible texture job.

Textured Den, Office & Master Bedroom walls and applied a California Knockdown texture effect.

Primed & painted Den, Master, Office, Bedroom #1, Bedroom #2, Sunroom, Living Room & Dining Room.

Primed & Painted all baseboard that were new and didn’t need to be removed, window treatments and doors.

Painted all closets bright white, along with laundry room and other small areas.

Removed all the carpet & padding in all the rooms with carpet (Den, Master, Office, Bedroom #1 & Bedroom #2.

Scraped, swept, vacuumed & mopped all rooms with carpet that was removed.

Installed new ceiling fan in the Den.

Installed all new 3 prong plugs throughout the house along with new switches.

Redesigned the Master Bedroom closet, demo/rebuild/rewire/drywall/mud/texture/paint included.

Repaired fence in the backyard.

Repaired gates in the back & side entrances.

Redesigned Vanity portion of the master (not yet completed), have all the pieces anyhow.

Replaced A/C vents throughout the house (still on-going).

Mudded over horrible texture in the kitchen that previous owners throught was cool to do in only a few places and leave big gaping gaps here and there and look stupid - so we had took care of that for them. 

Primed kitchen, preping for paint.

Cleaned, cleaned & cleaned (and continue to clean).

Demo’d built-in cabinets from the 1960’s that made our Master Bedroom NOT functional - added another foot to the room.

Made 9,000,000,000 trips to Lowe’s, Home Depot and the liquor store to allow for everything above to happen.

Not to mention we spent 7 billion dollars over the past couple weeks… but hey… who gives a…

Quite a list eh?  Thought we were joking huh?  Nope.  We have carpet being laid today, and then we have baseboards, trim and crown molding to put up.  Not to mention the hall has to be painted along with the baseboard in there and the kitchen.  Yup, it never freakin’ ends.  Oh wait.  And we have 4 new ceiling fans to put up, 4 light fixtures and about 8 or 9 a/c vents. 

I could keep going… but then my wife would bean me in the head with a shovel and jump off a bridge.

I promise we have done our best at trying to capture most of the transition in pictures, but hell… we missed some.  SO!

Get off our backs already.  Sometimes you forget, and sometimes your fingers hurt to bad to push down the lil button on the top of the camera.  This is one of those times.

So enjoy a few choice photos with my attempt at a humorous tagline and then you can go about your business today.  That is if you are still reading and haven’t jumped off a bridge yourself.  Welcome to Wednesday.

This is the Den before we bought the house.  Dark red painted panelling… SUPER overcrowded and gloomy.

This is the den after - minus the baseboards & crown molding & carpet of course… but freshened up a bit.

This is the Living Room & Dining Room before we bought it…

This is the Living Room/Dining Room after - with fresh paint, minus the crown molding.  Actually, this was the only picture we had… so its more of the Dining Room with a lil bit of Living Room - but still… you get the idea.  We will do better!

This is the best picture we got of the sunroom prior to move-in…

This is it with a fresh coat of paint, of blue…. who would have thought.  We have big things planned for this room, just wait.

Here are a few shots of stuff that just need to be seen, we have lots more to show, but need to take better pics.  The first one, our big pile of trash & stuff that got taken out of the house.

This one is of the old dishwasher that we are replacing (as soon as ours comes in), it cracked us up that it had a slider for “Clean/Dirty”.  Dirty was definitely what we left it on.

This next one is the Master before we got started and it had a tiny closet that we demo’d and made HUGE.  You can also see the edge of the vanity that we are totally redoing in the next couple of days.  The vanity that DIDN’T have a plugin AT ALL.  Seriously.

Another Master pic with the awesome colors… and imposter furniture of the ex owners still in it.  Not to mention their awesome paint selection that made the room look so dark and sad.

We could go on and on, but we want to drag this out so you guys have more to read when you get bored.  So we will give you an update when the carpet is in and we have some more progress made.  Just wait.

Tags: Design, Personal, Pictures by James
4 Comments »