Holy Hell: Shopping Carts

23. January 2008 Funny 1

Rant much?  Nah… just when something really drives me crazy. 

Today it is shopping carts.

HOLY HELL!!!!  Could the grocery store please use some of the money that they get daily from the mark-up on milk to purchase new shopping carts?!?  Maybe replace a few wheels on the suspect ones.  Seriously, how much could these things cost?  Is there a shopping cart repair shop or something?  I’m grasping for straws here.  Anything.

I went to grab some things this morning, one being bottled waters-o-plenty and so I had to get a basket.  After fighting with the apparently welded bunch of baskets for a couple minutes trying to coerse one into letting go and carrying my shit.  I finally get one to dislodge and I’m excited, since this whole fiasco should only take 5 min. tops – and 2 of them have been spent wrangling carts.

So on with the shopping venture, and about 3 steps in I notice that the cart I “chose” is going down the aisle all kittywampus.  Yup – out of all the carts that I could have chosen… I get the one with a gangsta-lean.  Awesome.

This isn’t just your normal tilt… I’m talking sideways down the aisle.  Looks like I’m sliding on ice or something.  Stupid.

So I make my way through the store grabbing coffee and then headed to the water section.  I grab 3 cases of water & some soda for the office.  This throws a new element into the equation… weight.  Now my gangsta-leaned mobile has its little cock-eyed cart wheels are being crushed by what can’t be more than 50 lbs at best.  Those lil guys are squirrelly as ever – jiggin’ and jaggin’ my cart across the aisle like a derelict. 

After debating if I could capture the moment on my cell phone with any kind of justice… I decided to leave as soon as possible.  I made my way fighting and weaving to the register and then out the door to my car.  Part of me wanted to unload the cart and place it in the middle of the parking lot and put it out of its misery.  Then I thought of how one day I could be that same cart – hoping to make it another day without being phased out, put in a home or “put out of my misery”.

So instead…  I walked the cart all the way back inside and placed it first in line to be pulled and used by the next customer.  I patted it on its dirty-ass handle bar and said… go get em’ tiger.

However on my way back to the car, my only thoughts were… I am going to start a shopping cart repair shop, and make a killing.  Who’s with me?!


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