7 Reasons Why Bald is the New Black

Photo Courtesy of Houser Design & PhotographyWhen I first realized that I was going bald, I was really upset.  Funny thing was, when I was in high school I shaved my head the entire time.  Back when I could have had a full head of hair and done anything I wanted with it… I chose to shave it.   All this time since starting my decent into baldness I resented it, now as I look back at being bald in high school I think it was readying me for this.  Maybe I always wanted to be bald, but for a while I didn’t know any better.

At this point I have nothing to do but accept the fact and roll with it.  Over the last year or so I really have come to terms and in fact I am rockin’ the bald look 100%.  So if your balding, don’t worry – shave it all off and be comfortable.  Bald is the new black.  Check out this list of reasons why going bald isn’t all that bad.

So Fresh and So Clean (in my best Outkast voice)

There is not a feeling as invigorating as when you shave your head.  Whether it is the first time or the hundredth time… you feel so clean.  So fresh.  So new.  That feeling of getting rid of the old is hard to shake, it is like being born again.  I shave my head with clippers with no guard.  When you get done and everything is the same length, even your beard – it just renews your spirit, your features and your outlook in general.

I love hitting the shower afterwards and letting the water hit my scalp for the first time in a while, feeling the heat of the water and having it wash away all the remnants of the past.  Unmatched my anything short of culling out your closet, removing the clutter or cleaning your garage out… unmatched by day to day activities.  Clothes look better; your smile radiates and shines like never before.  You feel a sense of accomplishment, like roofing a house or growing something from seed.  Shaving your head is like a rebirth.

More Money in the Bank, More Time for the Good Life

Ladies… how much of your life is “wasted” fixing hair while your husband/brother/boyfriend/dad is running around having fun?  Too much.  Men have it easy and bald men have it even easier.  Buying hair products is a thing of the past.  An occasional lotion rub on the old scalp, shampoo can be replaced with a body wash/shampoo combo – but beyond that, the maintenance is minimal. 

Less time spent (if any) on fixing hair scalp.  Less money spent on products… hell you might as well book a vacation.  A 3-day weekend on the beach is now yours… bought with your newly acquired money & newly acquired time.  Thanks bald spot.  See it isn’t all that bad after all eh?  How many people with hair are given that!

The Chicks Dig It… SCORE!!

Now granted this is coming from my wife… which has no choice but to love me bald or not.  So she my be a bit biased.  However she does think Chris Daughtry is hot also.  I rest my case.  So guys, if you are going bald and shave it all down… chicks will think you look like Chris Daughtry.  Or something like that.  I guess they could think you look like Bruce Willis, and I don’t think that is a good thing these days.  Or perhaps Kojak.  Wait a second, maybe my wife is lying after all. ;)

Seriously though, some women find it a turn-on, which the normal method of balding (with hair on the sides) isn’t going to net you much – you can believe that.  However, my stepdad netted my mom – so maybe I am wrong once again.

Hats Just Look Better

Hats probably helped lead to my baldness, but if you are one of those that gets “high & tight”(s) when you hit up the barbershop, then you know that when you get done and throw on a hat you look better.  Imagine having the ultimate high and tight (going bald) and always looking good in a hat.  On top of that, hats fit better and they look normal front, back, sideways… hell even that dorky way from the 80′s that you flip the bill up could fly with a bald guy.

If you want to go with a hat some days and without others… still looks good & consistent.  How can you not love that?  Also I can admit that finding hats (when you have hair) is harder than without.  That tall hat doesn’t look as bad, the laid back hats even look better.

Bald Goes With Everything

When you have hair and sometimes you have to dress up or something and you can’t get your hair to look right – it sucks.  Add in those times when you get a haircut and it isn’t really a church haircut – but you have to rock it anyhow… not good.  Bald is bald is bald is bald.  You can’t go wrong with it.  Have wore it with a hat & jeans, polo shirts & slacks, suits & ties and everything in between.  Bald looks good in the summer in the pool, bald looks good in the winter with a sweater – don’t worry about it.

There’s a Hair in My Soup… just kidding

One thing I hated when I had hair, and even longer hair was how it always seemed to be on me.  In my mouth, on my shoulder, in my food.  I HATED IT.  This is no longer a problem.  The hair that I do have is so small, I hardly ever notice them.  Right after I cut it, I tend to see some here and there – but no different than when I used to get normal haircuts back in the day.  Now if I find a hair in my burrito or stuck to my shirt I can quickly blame someone else. 

God knows it isn’t mine.  Mine are a lot easier to swallow. ;)   ewww.

Instant Haircut – Free of Charge

I am sure there are people that cut their own hair that have normal haircuts – I can say I never did… but now it is a once a week thing.  At any given time I can walk into the bathroom and take my hair off with a few buzzes and I am a new man.  No waiting in line at Pro Cuts, no more listening to kids cry that are getting a haircut next to me.  No more small talk with random cosmetology major #1320293.  Free, easy and practically instant.

Once again, if you were save the money from haircuts no longer needed – maybe you can add another day to your 3-day vacay to “da beach”.

These are just a few of the positive effects of going bald – there are more, but this is my list.  If you are bald and have something to add – hit up the comments.  If you a “non-bald” (believe me we call you much worse, but we won’t in his venue) and have something to add, feel free to ensue a riot.  A bald riot.

If you enjoyed this article – please feel free to repost the list or digg/mixx it.  Thanks!

Welcome Stumblers!

Thanks to Houser over at Houser Photography for the portrait of himself used in this article.  If you need a top of the line photographer – Houser is your man.

3 Responses to “7 Reasons Why Bald is the New Black”

  1. like we were talking about at tim’s the other day, you just gotta own it. ive ben shaving mine every few weeks for about two years now and i cant understand why i never did it before that.

    like you, i feel clean and revitalized afterwards.

    and like you, my wife thinks i’m sexy as hell.

    one of my students told me not too long ago after i kicked one of his classmates in the nuts that i was “like bruce willis. the more hair you lose the more badass you get.”

  2. indeed… indeed.

  3. [...] do I know about this being a problem, simple enough?  I wrote a post on why I thought “Bald is the new black” and it made its way all around the net and [...]

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