Sometimes I feel like I’m a boxer. I walk by a mirror and throw a few blows… duck, bob… weave, makes me feel alive or dangerous. I guess it is the fighter in every male. The want to engage… and finish your opponent.
Never really got the chance to fight much growing up. I mean, most of the time – due to my family (big brother, cousins) I didn’t have to do much at all. They were so dominant that most of the kids knew who they were – and just left me alone. So I was a bada$$ by association I suppose.
Not that it was bad, most kids have to deal with bullies – take their lumps and grow. Myself… most of the time it was ended by a cousin, big brother or whomever placing their hand on my shoulder and saying…
“What’s going on JJ?”
“This dude messin’ with you?”
You can picture a kid 4 year younger slowing looking up towards the sky where this omniscient figure is towering over them physically and socially. Kids backoff and tend to settle the problem amongst themselves.
I never realized how 9 times out of 10 I did not ever have to fight. Never had to throw a punch. Never had to deal with consequences. So all that teenage rage never got a chance to really release.
Now as I walk around, I think…
“What are you looking at?”
“Can I help you?”
Mentally provoking everyone in my path. I have never had to really act on anything. In fact, I’m probably that same little kid looking around for someone bigger and badder to get my back.
So as I have walked past the mirror in the past few days – an old guy I used to know is staring back. A bit more in shape, younger looking – overall better. I throw a few jabs and tilt my head back showing my dominance. The guy in the mirror laughs and gives me the ole… “Pfffffft”. He knows me better than I know myself.
Weighed in today. Always do on Friday – the final weigh-in for the week. Was worried this week for some reason, but little did I know that I would finally pass that goal of mine. The one that has been haunting me for the past 2 years.
I have made it to that weight before, a few times actually – still yet to pass it. Last week though, I weighed in at 217 and I was hoping that this week I would finally go under it.
I lost 3 lbs this week. And the grand total is now at 25.2 lbs.
And who said I can’t fight.